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Fighting Fair

May 28, 2017 Pastor: Jim Swaney Series: It's Complicated, Navigating Your Relational World

Scripture: 2 Timothy 2:22–2:26

IT’S COMPLICATED: Navigating Your Relational World

“Fighting Fair—How to Resolve Conflict”

2 Timothy 2:22-26


Communication is the lifeblood of any good relationship.  And yet, the sharing of one’s ideas often results in conflict.  How do you go about “fighting fair”—resolving conflict as a follower of Christ?  


22 “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.”    2 Timothy 2:22-23 (NIV)


19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”   James 1:19 (NIV)


“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)


Three Steps to help you resolve conflicts:

  1. Pick the right battle. 2 Timothy 2:23

Question to self:  Is this battle/fight about my ego, or about Christ’s cause?


  1. Work on    2 Timothy 2:22

Question to self: What is one character trait you can grow in?


  1. Tone it                   2 Timothy 2:25-26

Question to self:  How can I help decelerate the drama?


Some Rules of Engagement for Clean Fighting:   (7 “Nevers”)


  • Never mention divorce
  • Never bring up unrelated items from the past  (did you really forgive them?)
  • Never fight in public, or in front of your children (disagree, maybe…)
  • Never forgo calling a “TIME OUT” if the conflict is becoming damaging (e.g. personal attacks, character assault, etc.)


  • Never touch each other in harmful ways
  • Never go to bed angry with each other
  • Never give up on working things out; after all, Jesus never gave up on you!  

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